One of dearest professor’s spouses passed away last night.
I think all of us had a hard time staying focused after hearing the news. I know my mind was full of a whirlwind of thoughts.
What happens when it’s somebody who’s really close to you?
I can’t even begin to imagine. I thank my lucky stars that I can’t, but I can’t. I can’t. Period.
Sometimes those moments creep up on me and everything suddenly stops. Maybe I’m in the middle of scanning Beowulf. Maybe I’m standing in the kitchen half-listening as my mom chatters away at me while she’s making ma po tofu. Maybe I’m just sitting there thinking about something completely unrelated, like how I really want to make marshmallow Tigger Tails for Halloween.
The spoon stops stirring. The scanning is suspended. Whatever I’m doing, stops.
My parents aren’t going to be around for the rest of my life. Neither are my grandparents, or brother, or friends or mentors or cousins or aunts or uncles or all the people I know and love so dearly.
Wallflour Power: “Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.” –Mark Twain
I have a really, really hard time wrapping my mind around that. I always thought I could handle the thought of it when the time came, in theory, but now I’ve been thrown off by something so removed from myself that I just. Can’t. Imagine.
And here I am, uploading photos and writing and trying to sort it all out.
It’s always a sign of how much somebody is respected when everyone around him or her feels the blow almost as keenly as if it had happened to them.
Another incredibly difficult thing I never had to think about was how you say you’re sorry when somebody has just lost their life partner, their significant other, their soulmate.
What do I say to that?
What does anyone say when this happens?
We’re sending her a card–I sent her a short email expressing my deepest sympathy and letting her know she’s in my thoughts. There is no template for somebody else’s sorrow.
Thoughts. I’m thinking aloud here. This isn’t a melancholy post, but I can’t help it being a very reflective one, so I’ll leave you all for now with a final photo and maybe, hopefully, more than just one morsel of food for thought to carry with you through the day.
Any thoughts you might have would be deeply appreciated–just as I appreciate all of you and wish you the best in appreciating all those around you.
Hawaiian Banana Coconut Streusel Muffins Yield: 1 dozen muffins Adapted from Allrecipes Ingredients:
- 3 ripe bananas, mashed
- 3/4 cup white sugar
- 1 egg
- 1/3 cup butter, melted
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 cup flaked sweetened coconut
- 1/4 cup chopped nuts (optional)
- For Glaze-like streusel (optional): 1/4 cup honey mixed with 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon + 1/4 cup brown sugar + 2 tablespoons flour
- For streusel topping:
- 1/2 cup quick-cooking oats
- 2 tablespoons flour
- 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 2 tablespoons honey
- 2 tablespoons chopped nuts (optional)
Directions for muffins:
- Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. In a large bowl, combine mashed bananas, sugar, egg, and melted butter. In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients and stir until just combined. Fold in coconut and nuts. Fill lined muffin tins 3/4 way each with batter.
- At this point, if you’d like to make the glaze-streusel layer, combine all ingredients in a small bowl. Spread lightly on top of each batter-filled liner. (Note: the glaze adds an amazing dimension of crunch and sweetness, but it will also darken your muffins slightly. If you’re worried about appearance, skip this step and only do the post-baking oat streusel.) Bake muffins in oven for 17-19 minutes (making sure to top with streusel with 5 minutes left of baking), until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.
- To make streusel: While your muffins are baking, combine streusel topping ingredients in a small bowl. Press gently on top of each muffin five minutes before your muffins are done baking. This will prevent the streusel from melting or oozing off.
Tropical streusel.
The Germans never knew they could have it this good!
Ha ha–too true!
Great post. I couldn’t agree more….the lost of someone close really make my mind wonder far off. I tried to put myself in someone’s shoe but I can’t, I simply can’t. I could feel the heartbreak, but I know theirs pain is just be a million times more painful! Yeah, people come and go and it’s pretty impossible to be “prepared” or predict what will happen tomorrow. So, I always remind myself to cherish friends and family around me. 🙂 Give the hugs and kisses often!
Thanks for the thoughts, Amy–I’m definitely of the love-deeply-now camp. It’s so important to keep in mind how transient things can be. Best wishes to you and your dear loved ones!
Probably time for you to read Wallace Stevens’ Sunday Morning (“Death is the mother of beauty” – the poem isn’t really about what you’re talking about or experiencing, but parts of it are in the ballpark). Sorry for your pain; but the fact that you’re feeling it is in some ways a good think (you’re alive, you’re connecting with others, etc etc). And baking and taking photos is a great way to remember.