Creamy Homemade Cookie Butter

So I have a fun news update and a confession.

News: I got a brand spankin’ new mini food processor as an early birthday present that I’m over the moon in love with.

Confession: I’m kind of scared of it. Like, kind of really scared.

Apparently only 50 to 70 people get  wounded in shark attacks every year.

Meanwhile, with a food processor, you have a mean, angry blade sitting in front of you. It’s got that machine drive, literally. All that separates you from that whirring 100 rpm blade is a thin sheet of plastic that you’re betting big bucks on to hold its weight. It doesn’t have feelings. Once it starts, there’s no stopping it.

I mean, unless you take your finger off the grind button. I guess that’s one good way of stopping it. Better than trying to stop a shark attack from happening, anyway.

But that doesn’t stop me from being just the tiniest, slightest bit scared of it. Do you still remember your first time using a food processor? I don’t know about you, but now that I’m technically a “grown-up” (imagine that in BIG scare quotes), my fear senses have skyrocketed and my fear tolerance quota has exponentially shrunk. So fear is most definitely present as I press the grind button and then experience that moment of panic where I wonder whether or not I remembered to screw on the cap correctly–and whether it even matters at this point.

This is, of course, a completely irrational and unwarranted fear. The number of deaths by food processor every year are probably about the same as the number of deaths by bunny attack. I.e., zero.

I had to overcome this serious fear today when I peeked into my cupboard and found, to my eternal dismay, that we were all out of Trader Joe’s cookie butter! For a product that I tasted for the first time only two weeks ago, cookie butter–also known as speculoos spread or Biscoff spread–has me in its tight, cinnamony, gingersnappish clutches. Not that this is a bad thing. In fact, I’m even vaguely convinced that it’s probably a very good thing for the western hemisphere to have been introduced to cookie butter via our very good friend, Joe. I love you, Joe. I love you, Cookie Butter.

Yes, I’m aware that we have a very dysfunctional relationship. Go away. Or better yet, go to the kitchen, try this recipe, and then you can come back and make fun of me only when you have successfully repelled the irresistible taste of homemade cookie butter.

But you won’t. You’ll just be sitting there in the kitchen with a spoon in one hand and a butter knife in the other. The spoon is for scooping the cookie butter and eating it in indecent measure; the butter knife is for warding off any potential thieves.

Give it a try–I’d love to hear what you all think! There are plenty of homemade cookie butter recipes on the web, but this is by far one of the most simple. All you need are some gingersnaps, a few side ingredients you’ll probably have on your shelf anyway, a food processor, and more courage than the Cowardly Lion has.

When you’re done, don’t forget it to make it your own! See?

What would you love to see made with cookie butter? Send ideas my way, and I’ll see if I can’t whip them up! As long as this cookie butter craze lasts–and it’s looking like a keeper–I’ll be on the lookout for excuses to make some more of this scrumptious spread.

Happy reading, and happy eatings!

Creamy Homemade Cookie Butter

Ingredients:

• 15 gingersnaps, broken into smaller pieces
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 1/3 cup powdered sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

Directions:

1. Secure your food processor and its lid (as a first-time user, I would have taped mine up if I could have–alas, I settled for donning a really terrified look and chanting prayers under my breath). Grind gingersnaps until they become a fine powder. Add oil as you continue to grind at 10-15 second intervals for about 5 minutes total, or until it reaches a thick liquid consistency.
2. Add powdered sugar, vanilla, and cinnamon. Process for an additional 1-2 minutes, until cookie butter reaches desired consistency (I process mine until it becomes slightly thinner than peanut butter).
3. Try not to royally freak out as you reach over to unplug your food processor. Phew–all done! Serve with anything you want, because you deserve it. Waffles, pancakes, bread, gingersnaps, fish (okay, probably not fish), and so forth–anything is fair game!

Step-By-Step Pictorial

Ingredients You’ll Need: Gingersnaps, vanilla, cinnamon, oil, and powdered sugar (not pictured). You’ll also need your scary food processor. Mine’s mini, and I’m still scared.

Grind until gingersnaps turn into fine crumbs.

Add oil and grind until it turns into a thick liquid. Add sugar, vanilla, and cinnamon, then continue grinding for an additional 1-2 minutes. Allow to cool a bit, then serve with whatever strikes your fancy!